ANXIETY

The Power of a Smile

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Smiles—do they have meaning? Are you one of those people who puts a smile on your face when you know it’s not genuine?  Does your face tell people that your smile is something thatis forced and stiff? Or does your smile shine from within and tend to bring people closer to you?

You might be surprised that recent studies have shown that a “genuine” smile can enhance and benefit your life in ways that you might not realize.  In fact, a genuine smile just might help you live a longer and happier life.

  • The power of a smile.
    • Researchers have found that smiling can slow down our heart rate and eliminate stress. This happens even when we are not aware of showing that grin. The simple act of smiling tends to calm our body and soul.
    • The pure act of smiling has been proven to enhance our happiness ratio and creates a more optimistic view of life that surrounds us.
    • Research shows that a genuine full grin has the potential to affect our body in a positive ways & even a “polite” smile can also bring benefits. Health benefits include an increase in those “feel good” hormones, lower rates of anxiety, and relaxed muscles.
    • The Journal of Psychological Science study reports that those who engaged in smiling after a stress inducing tasks had a greater reduction in heart rate than those who had no facial grin.
  • What else does the research show?
    • When we smile it sends a message to the brain that signals safety and it translates into real health benefits.
    • The act of smiling sends cortisol to our brain, which lowers our stress levels.
    • A University of California study showed that the intensity of a person’s smile can predict life satisfaction over time and even the longevity of participants.
    • Research also shows that people who smile more tend to elicit more positive responses from strangers and more positive connections.
    • So take a moment and let your smile shine through. The simple act just might help you re-connect with those around you and help you live a whole lot longer!

 

Is Your Job Toxic?

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Work environments have really changed.  Job sites were once a place where employees felt secure economically and were assured of their job placement.  Today, many work environments are places of tension, anxiety and heightened fear.  In fact, a recent Neilson report noted that over 80% of Americans feel stressed by one or more issues at their job.

Spending the greatest portion of your life at your workplace, more and more employees are discovering that their offices are filled with impossible expectations, heightened demands, and toxic situations.  As the tension grows, the pressure tends to put a huge demand on workers physical and mental health.

Career Builders reports 4 key reasons why work environments have become stressful

  1. People are feeling anxiety, fear and pressure in the world and within their relationships and they tend to bring their own emotions to the workplace.
  2. Employees are being asked to do more with fewer resources, which puts everyone in a place of heightened anxiety, feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated.
  3. Employees feel like they must perform under the pressure or that they will be pink-slipped, laid off, or replaced by outsourcing employees. These things only add to the negativity on the job site.
  4. The economic conditions are on a downswing and employees are fearful to leave their jobs, take an earned vacation, or time-off despite their need for self-care.

Here are some tips for keeping your job from becoming toxic.

  • Don’t be part of the problem. Learn to stay away from gossip and complaining.  When you become part of the problem you increase your negativity level and elevate your anxiety and stress.
  • Try not to over react. When we feel stressed in the workplace, we tend to react to things around us.  Tempers fly, people become irritable and terse and that’s the time to slow down. Learn to evaluate the situation and be calm.  The key is to stay away from the drama.
  • Try to align with positive people. If you are in a toxic environment, the worse thing you can do is align with others who are toxic—this only fills you with the fuel of unhappiness.
  • Workplace negativity can make you sick. If you notice you are getting more backaches, headaches, or upset stomachs, it might be your body telling you that you are in need to get some distance from the job.  Set some limits on hours you work, boundaries with other workers, and maintain a life outside of your job.
  • Talk it over. Many work places offer Employee Assistance Programs or benefits to see counselors.  Most therapists are trained to help with stress management, boundary settings and helping you find a real balance in your life.  Typically, you can get some real helpful techniques in just one or two sessions.
  • The tough choice. If it is unbearable you need to change your viewpoint or move out of the environment.  This may seem like a horrible solution to the problem, but some workplace environments are too toxic and it’s not worth your mental or physical health.

HOLIDAYS OR HOLIDAZE?

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Your eye begins to twitch, you start to have sleepless nights, and you can’t seem to find all the countless notes you wrote to yourself filled with “to-dos.” It must be that time again—the Holidaze! Welcome to that time of year where our society and the commercial world slams us with messages to overspend, over-indulge, over-do, and over-eat. Welcome to the holiday season 2007!

During this time period, the common mantra spoken by humans appears to be questions such as… “Are you ready for the holidays?” Have you done your shopping? How much many more presents do you have to get? Have you started cooking for the holiday meals?”

Most people would agree, November and December are the most stressful months of the year.
• Did you know that during this time period the number of visits to physicians increase?
• Did you know that emergency rooms are filled to the brim during the holiday season?
• Anxiety seems to spread like wildfire, and tempers seem to flare at the drop of a hat.
• Our bank account goes lower and lower and our frustration level seems to rise beyond comprehension.

What happened to the concept that the holiday season was a time of joy and happiness?

Try something different this year by really “noticing” and being aware of what you are feeling during this holiday season. Ask yourself if you are doing things out of obligation or because you really love whatever you are doing. What would you rather do? What would make you happy this holiday season? What do you really see as realistic expectations of yourself?

Try this… take out a piece of paper and make three columns. On the first column write “love it,” on the second column write “neutral feelings,” and on the third column write “hate/resent it.” Now list all the things that you normally do during the holiday season and place it in one of those three categories. You know, list things like going to the company holiday party, making fruitcake for everyone you know, going to a neighborhood get-together, buying presents for your distant aunts and uncles, making up your holiday letter to send to everyone you know in North American replaying the past 11 months of important life changing events.

How many of the things you listed feel like “shoulds, ought to’s, or must do’s?” If you decided not to give in to these inner demands, what would you do with all your time? Record some of those ideas in the love column. Make a commitment to yourself to make this year different by doing more things on your “love it” list and less things on the “hate/resent it” list.

I once read something about Halloween, which appears to fit for most people. It went something like this…“Why is the scariest holiday the most joyful, and the most joyful holiday the scariest?” Perhaps because on Halloween we allow ourselves to do what we love, and during Chanukah and Christmas we force ourselves to do so many things that we really hate or resent due to expectations of others and demands that are internally motivated by societal pressure.

It would be a gift to yourself if you just looked at your “Love it” list and start scheduling those items on your calendar. The ultimate goal is to become more aware of what makes you happy and what is really important during the holiday season. Perhaps one way to do this is to give your “presence” to your loved ones, instead of worrying so much about the “presents.” Your loved ones don’t need more presents from you, as much as they need you to be more “present” with them. Make this year a “holiday” season instead of a “holidaze” season.

HUMAN BEING OR HUMAN DOING?

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HUMAN BEING OR HUMAN DOING?

You may have recently noticed the term “mindfulness” appearing in mainstream news, pop culture, and possibly even in your child’s homework assignments. Is mindfulness the next new thing, a passing fad, or a temporary cultural sensation? Hopefully not. The concept of mindfulness has been the cornerstone of many religious and meditative traditions for centuries. Let’s try to sort out what it’s all about, how it may be able to help you, and what it can’t do.

To be mindful is to be the opposite of mindless. MindLESSness is the epitome of not paying attention, of moving through life on autopilot. When we are mindless, we may be racing about, multitasking, and trying to solve too many things at once. Do you ever find yourself “everywhere but here?” Our minds will frequently take us to visit the past or to wonder about the future. The demands of modern life often have us on a tight schedule with many things to keep track of. We find ourselves racing about, multitasking, unaware of what’s happening around us, hearing without listening and incessantly checking our electronic devices, smartphones, tablets, and social media sites. Our modern-day culture grooms us to multitask, go and do, to accomplish, to be productive. We need to be able to accomplish goals and meet deadlines, but it’s easy to suddenly find ourselves in overdrive and overwhelm.
MindFULness is a way to approach life. It’s a lens through which you can view, approach, and experience the world which is distinctly different from our common default mode of autopilot.
To be mindful is to come to the senses and to purposely become fully aware of all that this present moment can offer.
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction pioneer, Jon Kabat-Zinn, defines mindfulness as the following:

“The awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment by moment, in the service of self-understanding and wisdom.”

We can talk about it, discuss it, and think about it, but the only way to really benefit from it is to PRACTICE it.

You can return to the present moment any time you become aware that you are being mindless. Gently nudge your awareness back to your breathing and then to what your senses notice is happening around you right now.

What do you see?
Can you describe it without labeling or judging?
What are the sounds that you notice?
Describe every detail that you can.
Notice, just notice without the need to change the experience you are having. Just accept it for what it is and notice all that there is. You are right here right now at this moment. Notice all that this moment can offer. Notice your internal experience of thoughts, bodily sensations, and any emotions arising. There is no need to attach to any of these sensations or experiences. Simply notice them as they arise. You can pretend that you are on a train and your experiences are scenery that you’re passing by. Notice these experiences as they come and go.

Contrary to how it may seem, mindfulness practice is not necessarily conducive to relaxation. In fact, practicing mindfulness can help us to feel more awake, aware, alert, and present to the here and now and all that it can offer.

As you become adept at the practice of mindfulness, you will likely begin to notice how you are conditioned to label experiences as good, bad, pleasant, unpleasant, or otherwise. How often we narrate our sensory experiences and judge them! We are deeply conditioned to do this. It feels counterintuitive to simply sit and notice. We have difficulty valuing an activity if we are not producing a result of some kind. It’s difficult to know the benefits of a mindfulness practice if you’ve not tried it for yourself.

It is important to be compassionate with yourself as you begin a mindfulness practice or try it for the first time, as it is so different from our common approach to life.

What are the benefits of mindfulness practice? You can practice mindfulness at any time. Any time you become aware that you are not being mindful, simply embrace that awareness. Mindfulness can help to calm the stress response and to help us feel a bit more grounded and at ease, which can in turn help us to approach our lives in a more clear-headed and even-tempered manner. Mindfulness practice alone will not likely cure anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges, but they can help to provide a framework through which you can begin to address these issues in therapy. For more information about mindfulness, visit the website www.mindful.org.