Your eye begins to twitch, you start to have sleepless nights, and you can’t seem to find all the countless notes you wrote to yourself filled with “to-dos.” It must be that time again—the Holidaze! Welcome to that time of year where our society and the commercial world slams us with messages to overspend, over-indulge, over-do, and over-eat. Welcome to the holiday season 2007!

During this time period, the common mantra spoken by humans appears to be questions such as… “Are you ready for the holidays?” Have you done your shopping? How much many more presents do you have to get? Have you started cooking for the holiday meals?”

Most people would agree, November and December are the most stressful months of the year.
• Did you know that during this time period the number of visits to physicians increase?
• Did you know that emergency rooms are filled to the brim during the holiday season?
• Anxiety seems to spread like wildfire, and tempers seem to flare at the drop of a hat.
• Our bank account goes lower and lower and our frustration level seems to rise beyond comprehension.

What happened to the concept that the holiday season was a time of joy and happiness?

Try something different this year by really “noticing” and being aware of what you are feeling during this holiday season. Ask yourself if you are doing things out of obligation or because you really love whatever you are doing. What would you rather do? What would make you happy this holiday season? What do you really see as realistic expectations of yourself?

Try this… take out a piece of paper and make three columns. On the first column write “love it,” on the second column write “neutral feelings,” and on the third column write “hate/resent it.” Now list all the things that you normally do during the holiday season and place it in one of those three categories. You know, list things like going to the company holiday party, making fruitcake for everyone you know, going to a neighborhood get-together, buying presents for your distant aunts and uncles, making up your holiday letter to send to everyone you know in North American replaying the past 11 months of important life changing events.

How many of the things you listed feel like “shoulds, ought to’s, or must do’s?” If you decided not to give in to these inner demands, what would you do with all your time? Record some of those ideas in the love column. Make a commitment to yourself to make this year different by doing more things on your “love it” list and less things on the “hate/resent it” list.

I once read something about Halloween, which appears to fit for most people. It went something like this…“Why is the scariest holiday the most joyful, and the most joyful holiday the scariest?” Perhaps because on Halloween we allow ourselves to do what we love, and during Chanukah and Christmas we force ourselves to do so many things that we really hate or resent due to expectations of others and demands that are internally motivated by societal pressure.

It would be a gift to yourself if you just looked at your “Love it” list and start scheduling those items on your calendar. The ultimate goal is to become more aware of what makes you happy and what is really important during the holiday season. Perhaps one way to do this is to give your “presence” to your loved ones, instead of worrying so much about the “presents.” Your loved ones don’t need more presents from you, as much as they need you to be more “present” with them. Make this year a “holiday” season instead of a “holidaze” season.